Wedding Shower Do’s and Don’ts

Alice Briggs

A Guide to Planning the Perfect Celebration

Wedding showers are a pre-wedding celebration that traditionally involved the bride, her female friends and family, and gifts to help the couple set up their new home. However, as weddings and societal norms have changed over time, so too have wedding showers. Here are some “do’s and don’ts” to keep in mind when planning or attending a wedding shower:


  • Invite the right people. Traditionally, wedding showers were only for women, but now it’s common to include men and even couples. Be sure to invite anyone who is important to the bride or groom, regardless of gender.
  • Make it clear what the shower is for. Is it a kitchen shower? A lingerie shower? Be sure to let guests know what type of gifts to bring, or if there is a registry for them to follow.
  • Be considerate of the bride and groom’s preferences. Some couples may not want a shower at all, or may have specific requests for the event. Be sure to check in with them before planning anything.


  • Make it a surprise. While surprise parties can be fun, a wedding shower should not be a surprise to the bride or groom. 
  • Make it a “gift grab.” A shower is not the time to be restrictive when asking for cash or other gifts. It should be a celebration of the couple’s upcoming marriage and a chance for friends and family to spend time together. Give your guests some flexibility in gift giving options.
  • Overdo it with the games. While some lighthearted games and activities can be fun, don’t make the shower feel like a carnival. Keep the focus on the couple and the celebration of their upcoming wedding.

Overall, a wedding shower should be a fun and festive celebration of the couple’s upcoming nuptials. Keep in mind the preferences of the bride and groom, and focus on creating a welcoming and inclusive atmosphere for all attendees.