By Heather Jones

Communication is key in every relationship…especially with your significant other.  Have you ever conversed with your partner and felt like the two of you were speaking different languages?  Well… maybe you were.  In romantic relationships, it’s important for each person to know and understand their own love language, as well as their partners.

Happy laughing young Chinese couple with take out coffee walking outdoors on windy day

If you’re unfamiliar with love languages, they are what individuals use to communicate their love.  The five love languages are receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch.  While most people appreciate each of these things, one or two tend to carry more weight.  Therefore, your partner probably uses one or two of these languages to communicate their love, and when these languages are reciprocated they feel more loved in return.

It can feel as though you are speaking a different language than your partner if each of you don’t know and understand one another’s love languages.  Most of the time, your love languages will be different.  So, if you communicate with your partner using your primary love language and not theirs, they will probably not feel as connected to you.  For example, let’s say your love language is words of affirmation and your partner’s is physical touch.

Love couple happy together, romantic date in summer park on sunset. Attractive woman and young man leisure on a grass
Happy young Chinese couple

After you both eat dinner you express how amazing dinner was and how thankful you are for them, and then you sit on opposite ends of the couch and watch TV together.  Even though you expressed gratitude towards your significant other and are spending time with them, you are disregarding their love language…physical touch.  While you are probably feeling overjoyed and fulfilled in the relationship, since you aren’t communicating to your partner using their love language, they may have feelings of insecurity or unhappiness.

There is more information about love languages in the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  This book goes more in depth about the love languages and how important they are in relationships. If you don’t already know your love language or your partners, take the quiz together online.  The results might surprise you, and could even take your relationship to another level!

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